A Tribute

Any readers out there who’ve read the last few posts regarding my husband and may be wondering about his status, he has passed,  just two days after Christmas.  The week of Christmas and the week after that was the worst time of our entire life together.  Long story short, he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage due to autonomic dysreflexia, which led to swelling of the brain tissue. He went into a coma on Christmas day and my families and I said our final goodbyes two days later.  

Now I could just write away and tell you all the horrific details but I’m not going to do that.  I’ve had to re-live those days over and over so many times I don’t have the emotional strength to do it again.  Instead I’m going to tell you about my husband, whose name is Richard, and this is my tribute to him; to follow his example and make a difference in this world.

Richard was involved in a single-car accident almost 27 years ago which  left him wheelchair dependent, but didn’t stop him from living.  At first he had a hard time dealing with his injury, as anyone would.  But it was his mother who encouraged him to persevere (I was no where in the picture until 12 years later).  While on social security disability for about a year he went back to work and earned a college degree.  Although becoming quite independent, he still required some assistance so he remained at home with Mom, Dad and two siblings.  He obtained an equipped van through a charity event. Everywhere he went he made friends.  He inspired others to go on no matter how bad they thought their lives’ were, and many told him that.  He literally had a smile that would light up a room, and wherever he worked, he was a major impact on company morale. He lived to make people laugh and would do just about anything for a laugh.  The stories are absolutely endless.   Now Richard wasn’t annoyingly perky.  He was just always upbeat. He was a regular client where I had worked and was such a flirt.  I had just gone through a bad break-up ( now I know what you’re thinking but this was no rebound) and everytime Rich would stop in he’d always ask me, ” how’s your love life?”  At first I shyed away, but eventually I came clean and he didn’t hestitate to ask me out.  I admit I was a little apprehensive, but I thought, why not?  His confidence and sense of humor was quite attractive.  We had such a great time and no matter where we went from then on, the public always smiled at us.  Maybe it’s because we were always smiling. I don’t know. I guess optimism can be contagious.  It was for Richard, even though life sometimes dealt him a bad hand with regards to his health. 

As I look back, his health was the only problem that caged him sometimes, which I could fully understand, and some birds just aren’t meant to be caged.  We were married 10 years ago, and what a ride it’s been.  I hope to go on as Richard would have, if the tables were turned. My tribute to Rich is to make the most of each new day and be a positive impact on someones life as he was on mine and so many others.  Richard had no enemies, and that’s no exaggeration at all.  It took all four of the calling hours for everyone that came, to pay their respects.  That, in itself, speaks volumes.

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2 Comments

  1. Posted January 11, 2009 at 12:12 am | Permalink

    Oh MottsA…what a beautiful tribute!

    Richard sounds like he was such a wonderful man, lots of fun and that you were both very blessed despite his health challenges.

    It sounds like you were both meant to be together.

    I am so sorry.

  2. Posted January 11, 2009 at 12:13 am | Permalink

    Oh MottsA…what a beautiful tribute!

    Richard sounds like he was such a wonderful man, lots of fun and that you were both very blessed despite his health challenges.

    It sounds like you were both meant to be together.

    I am so sorry.

    You are right…optimism is contagious!


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